


Fall Away 2

by SisterWicked



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:39:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2715860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SisterWicked/pseuds/SisterWicked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Possible sequel/continuation of Fall Away. Anal,Angst,AU/AR,Violence,WIP,Yaoi Visit my archive for fic, media and more. http://asshat.0fees.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Fall Away 2-1 

Fall Away 2  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 1

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Title may change.

Well, I did say I'd do something more for this if I got at least 200 requests/demands/pleas for more. To date, there are 315. So here it is.  
I would also like to take this opportunity to announce that I no longer intend to post my updates on many sites with anything approaching regularity. Everything will go to my group's private archive, and possibly AFF or LJ at a much later date. If you wish to continue reading my works, visit our site to do so. The URL is given in my profile here. Be advised that we actually have and enforce rules there. Thanks for reading.

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Staring down at his shackled hands in disgust, Tyki sighed. He should have _known_ they were going to lose the war. After all, he'd invested quite a bit of himself into the effort. And any time he bothered to involve himself in something..

It went straight to hell.

Glancing at the room's prominently displayed wall clock, he scowled at it's annoying slow progress. It seemed that the bureaucracy of the Church involved just as much tedium and meaningless posturing as any other, despite the lofty assertions of it's revered leaders.

Closing his eyes, he ignored the muffled drone of the court's proceedings, satisfied that his turn before the chopping block was sure to come whether he remained attentive or no. The thought of attentiveness made him grumble to himself, recalling exactly how a lack of it had landed him in his current predicament.

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He had made a mistake.

Staring at the cards spread before him on the table's cloth-covered surface, he could barely contain a faint hiss of disbelief. But there was no arguing with the four aces and grinning Joker that met his startled gaze, or the neat pair of Kings and Queens alongside the ten of spades that he himself held.

He had lost. _Again._

Forcing a smile, he pushed fully half of his rapidly diminishing pile of tokens across the table, folding his cards and returning them to the deck. The blonde teamster opposite him grinned viciously, his pockmarked face no more attractive for it. Shuffling rapidly, the man dealt their hands with casual derision, lifting his own with a pleased hum.

"You gonna play, or just wonder what winning would be like? In or out, pretty."

Tyki scowled murderously at the term of address, well and truly fed up with it after an hour of use. Sparing a look at his cards, he blinked at the motley collection of faceless suitcards, his suspicions of the other's dishonesty confirmed a moment too late for calling out. Shaking off his ire, he reached for the nearest token. "In. At ten."

Before the blonde could voice his agreement, the door all but exploded inward, showering both men with debris. Cursing at the sting of splintered wood along his bared arms, Tyki abandoned his seat. There was a warning crackle of energy nearby, a distinct reminder of exactly why it was that he had chosen the back room of this particular den of iniquity for his gambling rather than the more pleasant setting of an open tavern.

Innocence.

Which meant an Exorcist.

Drawing upon his innate powers, he forced back the almost unseen attack that came first, reeling backward in surprise when his own strike was carelessly deflected. The thinned cloud of dust and smoke revealed a slight figure clothed in brilliant white, the particolored mask and writhing collection of seemingly-alive material adding to his dismay.

Of all possible opponents, this was very nearly the worst he could have encountered. Bracing himself, he laughed with a mocking tone that he only half-believed himself. "Why, fancy meeting you here.. Does the most noble and exalted Allen Walker make a habit of destroying personal property these days?"

The boy met his gaze coolly, hoisting his sword effortlessly. "I don't think His Eminence would mind if there were fewer establishments for whoring and gambling, Tyki. You should be glad that I caught you at one and not the other." Without another word, he launched himself at the brunette with killing intent, his blade alight with the full limit of his synchronization.

Astonished at the sheer ferocity of his attack, Tyki lifted an arm sheathed in blocking energy as he retreated. The determined expression on the other's face was unwavering, the bleakness of it making the man aware of just how deadly an enemy this boy could be if taken lightly.

As he steeled himself to meet the coming onslaught, he gasped in horrified shock as the boy sliced cleanly through both shield and flesh, his movements unerring as he allowed the momentum to spin him around for a second slash that obliterated the Noah within him as if it had never existed.

Unable to comprehend the enormity of what had just transpired, the brunette collapsed against the nearest wall, his eyes wide with disbelief. Clearly, the boy had grown into himself, the almost mechanical precision of his attack leaving no room for doubt in his abilities.

Struggling to lift himself from the ground, the man laughed shakily. "Oh, well played, boy.. You've become quite the executioner." Swallowing heavily, he nodded at the other's still raised sword. "I suppose this is the part where I beg for my poor, precious life to be spared.. But of course you can't really do that, can you? My life is forfeit by the order of your God." Recalling the particular limitations of the boy's weapon, he smiled. "Will it be now, then? Tell me, Exorcist, what does my future hold?"

Sheathing the ridiculously outsized blade, Allen knelt before the other carefully. "That isn't for me to decide, Tyki. I'm only here to destroy your Noah and bring you back for trial." Pulling the still-dazed man up to sit, he frowned at his continued bemusement. "You have a lot to answer for, so I wouldn't hesitate to argue your case as soon as the opportunity presents itself.. Be grateful that you'll have a second chance to make things right at all." Preparing to rise, he hummed thoughtfully. "Actually, there _is_ one thing I do get to decide."

Before the man could form the obvious question, the white-haired boy smiled grimly. "You're going to have one hell of a headache when you wake up." With that, he drove his fist sharply into the brunette's astonished face.

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"Former Noah, Tyki Mikk."

He straightened at the sound of his name, regarding the officiant with a halfsmirk. The man nodded his acknowledgement of the brunette's presence, reading from a small stack of papers.

"You stand accused of direct assault against the Church, the wanton destruction of Our Lord's most holy Innocence, willful flight to avoid capture and multiple counts of heresy. You are named specifically in the death inquests of over one hundred Exorcists, Finders and the citizens of various countries. You are also named as the direct enabler of over a dozen knows creations of Akuma. In light of these charges, how do you plead?"

Raising an eyebrow, he shrugged. "Would you allow any plea but guilty? I notice a distinct lack of representation.."

The man glared over the rims of his reading glasses, his expression speaking volumes on his opinion of the brunette's legal rights. "We were unable to find a willing attorney for you, which is hardly unexpected. As you yourself have stated, the question is merely a formality, as we have the sworn testimony of unbiased devotees of the Church." Lifting his head, he indicated the similarly dressed men at either side of him, his smile faint but unmistakable. "With no evidence to the contrary, this court finds you unequivocally guilty on all counts. The penalty for your crimes is disciplinary incarceration for the remainder of your natural life, to be enacted immediately."

He snorted to himself quietly, unsurprised. From his horrid losing streak to his singularly unattractive black eye, the resulting imprisonment, and even now the damnable itch that his restraints would not allow him to scratch, along with the all-too-predictable verdict, things could hardly get any worse.

The black-robed officials ignored the sound, stamping the papers before them with perfunctory movements. Gathering them into a sheaf, the presiding Judge cleared his throat. "As there are no further stipulations to be set by this court, the defendant will now be remanded to the custody of an established officer within the prosecuting Branch." Glancing quickly at the forms, there was only a moment of silence before the name of his keeper was called.

"Exorcist Lavi. Approach the bench."

Apparently he was wrong about a great many things.

The redhead was definitely older, but the several year's difference was almost mockingly negligible, his voice perhaps a note deeper and his hair just a touch longer than the older man recalled. Ignoring the other's long-suffering sigh, he accepted the documents from the Judiciary's hand with a nod, addressing the brunette in an irritatingly flat tone. "Let's go."

For an instant, he seriously considered refusing the clear command, but the likely result seemed unattractive when added to his present indignity. Rising to his feet, he avoided the looks of the gathered crowd, following the Exorcist through the door and into the hall. He cleared his throat loudly, but the sound went unacknowledged.

After several twists and turns, the redhead gestured to an open doorway, obviously intending that they enter. Scowling at his wordless pointing, Tyki stepped inside, looking around disinterestedly. Hearing the door close and latch, he raised a questioning eyebrow. "Are you intending to ignore me to death, Lavi?"

The Exorcist snorted indelicately, nodding toward the room's single chair. "Right. Because I have problems _murdering_ people. Sit down."

The brunette's frown deepened at the covert jibe, his mouth opening to retort. Shaking his head rapidly, Lavi strode forward. Planting a hand against the other's chest, he shoved him backward hard enough for stumbling, his eye narrowed. _"Sit down and shut up."_

Waiting until the man complied, he seated himself at the cluttered desk against one wall, taking a pen from a cup filled with them. Looking over the thin stack of forms he held, he scribbled intermittently at various sections, stuffing the finished product into a blank folder and then into a drawer. Glaring across the surface of the desk, he rubbed tiredly at his eye. "Do you have anywhere to go, where they won't be able to find you again?"

Tyki gaped at him wordlessly, his eyes almost comically wide. "What?"

Sighing, the redhead reached for a slender box near one elbow, pulling out a cigarette and a tiny silver lighter. Striking a flame to the end of it, he inhaled shallowly, closing his eye. Rousing himself after a rough exhale, he slumped back into his chair. "You want one?"

Nodding dumbly, the Noah waited for him to retrieve a second cigarette, wincing at the awkward process of igniting it while restrained. "Thank you. And what do you mean, somewhere-"

Lavi pushed an overlarge ashtray into the middle of the desk, flicking his own ashes into it with studied carelessness. "I mean do you have a place to go when you leave. Not some dump of a hotel, and not a random bar where they'll sniff you out in a week. Somewhere that you can just live and not have to worry about the Order."

Again the man's expression betrayed his bewilderment, and the redhead groaned softly. "You can't possibly be that stupid, Tyki. What did you expect me to do with you, shove you through an interdimensional doorway like garbage?"

Stubbing out his unfinished cigarette angrily, he rose to his feet, his ire clear on his face. "Goddamn it, why did you even let them catch you? And in a whorehouse, of all places! You couldn't keep it in your fucking _pants_ for long enough to get the Hell out of town? _Idiot!_ " He paced as he raged, stopping just shy of the astonished brunette at the culmination of his rant. Bending close, he dug a hand into the man's loose hair, tugging his head back sharply. "I swear to God, if they ever bring you back here I'll kill you myself. Is that simple enough for you to understand, Tyki? I'll take my hammer and shove it straight up your-"

Releasing the man abruptly, he stepped back, taking a long breath for control. "You're going to wait for me to take those off," He nodded at the other's shackles, "And then you're going to knock me out. Or stab me with my letter opener. Something." He pointed to one corner of the desk, waiting for the man's gaze to follow. "Then you're going to take _that_ set of keys, go to the end of this hallway and get the fuck out of here."

Pausing for a breath, he frowned. "And you're going to drop the keys _right outside_ the door. Because they take for-fucking-ever to replace those when they get lost."

Straightening carefully, Tyki stubbed out his neglected cigarette. "All right, I'll play along, Lavi. When and where will I be meeting you after you recover from your _injury_?"

"You won't."

Raising an eyebrow, the brunette hummed curiously. "Then you'll be meeting me?"

"No."

His second eyebrow joined the first. "That hardly makes sense, Lavi. Exactly what are you trying to accomplish, if not-"

The redhead snorted quietly, shaking his head. "A lover's tryst? A tearful and heartfelt reunion?" He leaned against the edge of his desk with a short laugh. "Hardly. I've had enough of you to last me a lifetime and more." Waving a hand at the man's surprised face, he sobered. "I just want you gone. If I take over custody of you, I'll have to look at you every damn day for the rest of too fucking long. Do you really think I want that?"

The Noah's gaze narrowed speculatively, his mouth curling into a half smile. "You have a lover, then."

Lavi returned his smirk evenly, shaking his head. "Funny thing about that.. I never really had any interest in relationships. Of any kind. Not entirely sure why."

Tyki rolled his eyes irritated disbelief. "Ridiculous.. You honestly expect me to believe that you've chosen to reject your friends here, deny all your attachments _and_ taken a vow of celibacy? Lack of formal education does not leave me retarded by default, Lavi."

Watching for any sign of the boy's obvious duplicity, he frowned when none was forthcoming. "Nothing we did warranted that. There were no promises, no great trauma, and certainly no allusions to anything more than there was. In so vast an organization, surely you were able to find someone-"

"They all know."

The redhead's soft reply brought him up short, his temper extinguished as abruptly as it had risen. "What..?"

"Everyone knows what happened. From the time I went missing until you shoved me through that damned door." The Exorcist's voice was low but direct, his expression unfathomable. "Did you know that the Ark has a memory, Tyki? Did you even _care?_ " He reached again for his cigarettes, lighting one with a practiced motion. "The place you took me was inside it.. So naturally someone who knew how could watch it if they wanted to."

Before the man could speak the obvious name, Lavi nodded. "Yeah. He wanted to know what was so wrong with me, that I wouldn't even write it in my journals." Inhaling the acrid smoke, he laughed. "He was good enough to keep what was said to himself, but he had to report what physically happened. He thought he was _helping_ me, you know.. Like leaving out a few words was going to make any difference in the end."

Shaking off his gradually rising horror, the brunette cleared his throat. "Then.. What did he report?"

Lavi shrugged. "That you bested me in combat, abducted me, held my Innocence as behavioral insurance and raped me. Then you for whatever reason gave me back my clothes, my weapon and forcibly ejected me into the middle of nowhere." Closing his eye, he drew heavily on his cigarette. "Of course no one wanted to believe it, but they pretty much had to take his word on it. After all, when does _Allen Walker_ lie?"

He shook his head, flicking his ashes. "It doesn't matter anymore, because nobody mentions it to my face. If they talk to me at all." Frowning at the remnants of his smoke, he crushed it into the ashtray. "Its easy to let go of things when you know you can't have them, Tyki.. And its just as easy to not want what you don't need."

Ignoring the brunette's quick inhale, he straightened. "I'll bet he thinks he's helping now, too.. Making sure that it was me who got the assignment for you." Sighing, he stepped forward again, taking hold of the other's restraints. Mumbling a strangely accented word, he pulled them off carefully, setting them atop the desk with a quiet thud. "He probably knows what I'm going to do, too.. My considerate and devoted _friend_ , moving heaven and earth so that I can-"

"Come with me."

The brunette rose to his feet, ignoring the lightened sensation of his freed hands. "Cut your finger or some such, drizzle a bit of blood here and there and let's go. Otherwise, you're stuck with me." Smiling grimly at the Exorcist's irate sound, he moved forward deliberately. "For someone so intelligent, you're almost painfully dense, Lavi. I wonder how long it will take, to drain this bitterness from you.."

The boy stepped back quickly, meeting the desk's edge with a jarring _thud_. Hissing at the sharp pain, he glared at the other warningly. "You stay the hell away from me. I know _exactly_ how stupid I am, but I'm smart enough to not repeat my mistakes." Lowering his hand to the holster at his thigh, he drew himself up firmly. "I'll fight you if I have to, Tyki. Letting you leave can always wait for later."

Tyki shook his head faintly, advancing a halfstep. "I daresay it can't, Lavi.. Wouldn't your weapon kill a normal man?" He sighed at the Exorcist's wide eye. "There are many things that need settling, but it may not be in anyone's best interest to have the necessary discussion here.. You truly wish to have your chance for vengeance taken from you, the way everything else was taken?" His tone was intentionally infuriating, and the redhead paled before his coloring deepened in rage.

"You- _It wasn't like that!_ I let you, **wanted** you to.. to.." He broke off with a rough growl of pained fury, his hands clenching into fists. "Everyone thinks you used me, took something important and made it nothing.. And I can't ever tell the truth! If it's like this when they all feel _pity_ for me, what would it have been like if they'd known that I begged for it? If Allen had told them everything, I think I could stand it, but he didn't and I became some sad, pitiful little thing that no one wants to speak to in case they slip up and say the wrong thing!"

Tyki stiffened in surprise at the reason for his anger, inching forward carefully. "You were treated so, Lavi..? Even with the Walker boy's protection of the details?" He shook his head in disbelief at the redhead's terse nod, casting caution aside to close the remaining space between them. "Then I should have ignored my better judgement and had what I wished."

Latching quickly onto the Exorcist's wrists, he held his arms securely down. The effort required was much greater than he recalled, but the effect was the same. The redhead struggled fiercely against his grip, attempting to lever a knee up to kick.

"Off- of me! Son of a _Bitch-_ Let go!"

The older man avoided the movement, wincing at the sidescrape of his heavy boot along the calf of his leg. "If I had known that it would be this way regardless, I would never have released you. I could have kept you for myself, and let the Earl believe that you were broken beyond repair!"

Lavi all but spat in disdain, hurling his weight backward in hopes of shifting the desk. "They would have killed you! And if they hadn't, they would have tossed you straight out the damn door!"

Narrowing his eyes, the brunette hissed in reply. "And what will your Order do to _you_ , little fool? What have they already done?"

The fight bled abruptly out of the Exorcist, the unexpectedness of it startling the other. Fixing his gaze on the man's topmost shirt button, he laughed quietly. "They gave me exactly what I deserved, for the wrong reason." Sagging tiredly, he relaxed his hands at his sides, the right brushing uncaringly over his still-sheathed Innocence. "I waited for you, thinking you might.. That maybe you'd change your mind after all. I purposely took missions alone and far from here, hoping that.." He snorted softly, shaking his head. "Allen knew. There's no way he didn't see right through me, after what he heard from my own fucking _mouth_.. And he never said a word. He even offered to go with me a few times, in case I found the wrong Noah."

He inhaled shallowly, swallowing to clear his throat. "Then Bookman left. He said he had everything he needed from the Order, so it was time to move on to another Event." Humor was the farthest thing from what seeped into his words, but still he laughed as he spoke. "He didn't even wait for me to come back from my mission. It made me think about what you said, at the end.. That I shouldn't let myself believe things when there wasn't any reason. I always thought that he _felt_ something more than responsibility for me, but he never did. He had everything he needed from me, too."

Lifting his head, he met the man's gaze evenly. "If you did what you did thinking it would protect me, you were wrong. You should have killed me."

Freeing one hand, the brunette covered his mouth firmly. "Don't wish away your life so easily, Lavi. Part of the reason I coveted you was how full of living you were." He released the boy's other arm, leaning close enough to feel his slow breaths along the skin of his face. "If you have no more need of your life, give it to me. I'd be more than happy to put your existence to good use."

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That's it. There could very well be more, if people wished for it. Again, this will be the last posting to multiple sites I once frequented, so be sure to move yourselves along to my group's archive for further updates.  
Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Fall Away 2-1 

Fall Away 2  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 2

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Well here we go again. To all previous reviewers, thank you. I like to hear what you like or don't just as much as how 'super great be my waifu' wonderful you think I am.

To all the noncommenting, listadding individuals.. Take something unpleasant, tie a porcupine to it and pay a rhinoceros to charge-cram it straight up your ignorant ass.

With that said, on with the story.

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Last time -

_Freeing one hand, the brunette covered his mouth firmly. "Don't wish away your life so easily, Lavi. Part of the reason I coveted you was how full of living you were." He released the boy's other arm, leaning close enough to feel his slow breaths along the skin of his face. "If you have no more need of your life, give it to me. I'd be more than happy to put your existence to good use."_

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The Exorcist smiled brightly. "Sure thing. Let me just write out my notice.. Let's see, reason for dismissal.. _Taking a crazy day._ " He pushed the man away roughly, his face scornful. "Didn't I already make it clear, Tyki? I've given you as much as I think I ever will." Leaning back against the desk, he laughed quietly. "Besides, how is living with you better than being dead? Didn't you tell me that you weren't interested in keeping a _pet_?"

The brunette frowned at his mocking tone, crossing his arms. "Lavi, I really think that we should hash this out, but as I said, this may not be the best place for that conversation." Nodding at the barely-furnished surroundings, he sighed. "There are many things about that night that you don't know.. And some of them are still valid concerns _now_. I understand that it's been difficult, even tragic for you, but-"

Pushing himself upright, the Exorcist shook his head violently. "You don't understand anything! The way you see it, I should be falling all over myself to drop everything and take off with you on some happy-ever-after _bullshit_!" Pointing at the man's abandoned seat, he ignored the unsteadiness of his hand. "If you want to have your little conversation, you'd better get started now. Even if I **did** lose my mind and trust you to tell the truth, it would have to be now. I don't think it would be too smart of me to just merrily prance out the door and then hear some things that would possibly make me want to come right back."

Tyki sighed deeply, shrugging. "Here it is, then." Wondering how to phrase his motives in a way least likely to upset the other, he nodded. "I couldn't have kept you the way that you wanted, Lavi. Even as a Bookman, you posed a danger to the Earl." He shook his head at the boy's intent to protest. "No, let me finish. It was more than keeping track of our movements and powers, and more than being an Innocence user. Didn't I tell you then, that we were all human once..?" He hummed at the redhead's reluctant nod, relaxing. "The other Noah were _never_ truly comfortable with the company that I chose to keep. They believed, and rightly so, that my close relationship with my human friends prevented me from fully indulging in my darker side."

The boy's face remained skeptical, but he allowed the other to continue.

"Having someone like you in our midst could have caused the same effect, Lavi. Allowing me to pursue a meaningful relationship with you could very well have given me the means to suppress my Noah aspect entirely, in time. Do you really think they would have permitted such a subversion? I had already weighed the possibility of your death against my own desires, and the only conclusion that assured your safety was to simply cast you from me. I was able to promise your release so easily because of that fact." He frowned at the other's oddly pale cheeks, but hearing no protest, he smiled faintly. "I hadn't taken into account that perhaps you shared my interest to such an extent, either.. It was a pleasant surprise, but hardly a realistic expectation on your part. Really, what could we have offered each other in that situation, Lavi? Forever simply wasn't an option at the time."

The redhead slammed his fist against the desk, his voice carelessly loud in the closed room. "You're such a fucking _asshole!_ I wasn't asking for the rest of your life, just the rest of that night! At least it would have all been worth it, if I could've-"

He cut himself off with an inarticulate growl of anger, lifting a hand to his face. Shoving his fingers between the skin of his forehead and the strap of his eyepatch, he wrenched it free with a snarl, ignoring the sting of hair pulled out by the roots in his haste. Glowering at the brunette's anticipatory flinch, he flung the ruined material to the floor, forcing his covered eye to open.

Even the low lighting of the room was like daggers to his long-unused pupil, the immediate watering only deepening his rage. "You could have let me walk out the Goddamned door like this, and nobody would have said a _thing_ about some cuts and bruises, they would have been more worried about-"

Tyki blinked in surprise, his hand half rising toward the Exorcist's bare face before he caught himself. "Why.. Lavi, why did you cover a perfectly good eye? I had assumed.."

The redhead laughed humorlessly, jerking away from his lifted hand. "That there must be something horrible underneath? So does everyone here. That's something else they've never asked me about." Swiping at the unwilling stream of wetness from his still smarting eye, he shook his head. " _That's_ what you took from me, Tyki. The chance to control at least a tiny bit of my life."

Clenching his hands into fists, he turned away from the other sharply, the tenseness of his shoulders adding to the strained pitch of his voice. "You didn't humiliate me nearly as much as the people who were supposed to be my friends. After Allen made his report, there were.. Things that the medical people thought they needed to do. They asked me questions, looked at my x-rays again.." He swallowed audibly, his hands shaking. "And they wanted to be sure that you hadn't.. _Hurt_ me."

He hissed at the man's alarmed hum, closing his eyes tightly enough to see flecks of light behind his eyelids. "I sure as hell wasn't going to let the Head Nurse do anything like that, so they pretended that it was fine. Then they brought me lunch and told me to stick around until they had my bloodwork back." His voice lowered to a grating murmur, but the words were still painfully clear. "They drugged my food, Tyki. Then they had the only other doctor in this fucking place prop me up on the bed and take a little peek."

The brunette stepped forward quickly, gripping the other's hunched shoulder. "Lavi-"

The Exorcist wrenched away with a yowl of displeasure, his expression livid. "Don't! You're going to listen, damn you!" Taking a breath, he fixed the man with a steely glare. "I couldn't do anything about it, I couldn't even _talk_! And the whole time, that poor stupid man was muttering about how he knew it was embarrassing, but they had to be sure that I wasn't torn all to hell on the inside.. And that wasn't even the worst part of it!"

Leaning forward abruptly, he halted a mere handspan from the other's pale face, his tone sinking to a whisper. "He put his fucking _fingers_ up my ass and did what he had to do.. And then he touched the same place that you did, and all I could think about was how good it felt when it was _you_ inside me, touching me like that.."

His eyes filled and overflowed, the tracks unnoticed in his rage. "I tried to scream, to move.. Anything to make him stop. He thought it was _hurting_ me, that something was maybe bruised or cut, so he did it again-" Inhaling roughly, he shuddered. "I don't know what they gave me, but I was so high that just remembering you was enough to.. I came like a seasoned whore, Tyki. I don't even know who was more horrified by it, me or him.. But I can tell you for a fact that Komui has _never_ called me into his office for assignments or debriefing since. And he's never been able to look me in the eye again, either."

He straightened carefully, shaking his head. "He never told anyone, I know that for sure.. But it doesn't matter. Even hopped up on drugs, there's no way that would happen to someone who's been forced. He must know, too." Clearing his throat, he waved a hand at the man's wide-eyed face. "Yeah, I know. How sad and awful for me. But if I could get over it, so can you."

The brunette shook his head slowly, struggling for words to express his hopeless sympathy. "I.. I'm _sorry._ I never thought that you would be.. What kind of _place_ is this, that they would subject you to something so-" He flexed his hands helplessly, unable to comprehend what he'd been told. "If nothing else, how could they **ever** justify the violation to your person, when they had no reason to suspect duplicity? Extorted or no, I at least gained consent before.."

Lavi shrugged, smiling blandly. "This is the Black Order. The Pope's private army against all things undesired and less than holy." His smile faded. "We aren't human beings to the Church, Tyki. Being what I was let me find out a lot of things that no one outside the upper levels would know.. Before our Supervisor took over here, it was common for the science department to force synchronization on randomly selected people. They would hunt down possible conformers and take possession of them like objects, and then prevent them from leaving by any means necessary."

Patting the inactive hammer, he continued. "They don't do things like that anymore, but it's been close. I know myself, because when I came back, they took Nyoibo away from me." Recalling that particular memory, he winced. "The wanted to be positive that you hadn't damaged it in a way that couldn't be seen.. And they thought I might take drastic measures in light of my _assault_."

Ignoring the man's obvious discomfort, he nodded. "They were probably right to do that, since they did think I was attacked. After they looked everything over, they said that my Innocence was fine, and that it should be all right to use it. They were sure that I wouldn't Fall because of what happened." He paused, laughing darkly. "But the first time I tried to activate it, they took me to the sealed lab. Had about a million wires and gadgets hooked to everything, but I figured as much.. They were _sure_ that I wouldn't Fall, but they were damned determined to monitor every second of it if I did."

He would have continued, possibly in the same vein of thought if not for the sudden hard clench of arms around his back, and the stifling press of shirt-fabric against his face. He allowed the man to stroke careful fingers along the back of his head, his own arms hanging limp inside the shaken embrace. Turning his face to one side, he swallowed at the unwilling urge to take comfort from the very source of his loss.

He was aware of the other's low voice, but the words registered as little more than a deep buzz as he pushed down the feeling of renewed rawness. He had never given words to the entirety of his suffering, in breath or ink, and the act itself took some measure of strength to accomplish after so many days of silent acknowledgement.

Inhaling slowly, he closed his eyes. "I'm not done. Shut up and let _me_ finish." Feeling the man's faint nod, he sighed. "Everything I said to you was true, Tyki.. The only thing you forced me to do was admit that I wanted you. Not just a little random sex, but **you.** " He growled in low annoyance, swallowing. "Even if I hadn't let you, no one would have wanted me.. Being with you was something unbearably dirty, as far as anyone else saw it. I never really considered it, because I knew I wouldn't be able to have any more than a one-off, but.. It still doesn't matter, even with Bookman gone."

He slumped tiredly, supported by the desk and the older man's firm hold. "The only thing that hurts is not being able to really have a friendship with them now.. Allen, Yuu-chan, Lenalee.. They're not as bad about it as the rest, but they still don't know what to say or do when they're around me. I don't want to make them deal with that, so I just let them go." Gripping the edge of the other's shirtback, he sighed. "I wouldn't have tried for any other kind of relationship with one of them, though. The interest just wasn't there."

Forcing his fingers to relax, he exhaled quietly. "It's the same for everyone else, too. I'm not willing to be with someone that I don't care about." He laughed suddenly, dropping his hand to his side. "I can't even be with _myself_ , because every time I try to do it, I end up thinking about you." He laughed again at the other's abrupt stillness, lifting his head. Meeting the brunette's wide eyes, he shrugged. "I think that's probably the worst part of everything, actually.. You had what you wanted and that was that. I had just enough to be sure that I'd never forget it."

Tyki's eyes narrowed sharply, his fingers stilling their slow petting. "It's exactly as I said, Lavi. You're remarkably unobservant for someone who spent a lifetime learning to take note of every nuance of a situation." Shifting his hand deliberately from the back of the boy's head to the base of his skull, he sighed. "I _didn't_ have what I wanted, I had a taste of it. Something to tide me over until the circumstances changed enough to make what I wanted a possibility."

The redhead inhaled roughly at the intent quality of his gaze. "It still isn't possible.. I'm not the same person anymore, Tyki."

The man raised an eyebrow, tipping his head thoughtfully. "I see no great difference, other than your eye. You're still the strong, lovely Exorcist that makes me want things I shouldn't.. The most tempting of forbidden fruits." Taking in the boy's surprised face, he sobered. "Exact your revenge, then. Cast me from you, and allow me to be punished as I deserve. I would imagine that several of your associates have waited for just such a chance at retribution."

Predicting the obvious protest, he shook his head. "I won't flee the consequences of my failings, Lavi. I can't return what was taken from you, but perhaps it would give you some measure of peace to make the choice that I denied you. Spurn me. Hate me as much as you hate this ruined life that I caused."

The Exorcist closed his eyes, hitching a breath. "I already told you, I don't hate you. I never hated you." Swallowing, he shook his head faintly. "I wanted what we did, just as much as you wanted it.. The only part that I didn't want was the ending." He shrugged carelessly, meeting the brunette's eyes evenly. "I would've left in the morning, but I'd have spent the rest of the night fooling myself. You told me that what I wanted could be real, if only for that long."

Tyki nodded, winding a strand of the boy's hair around his finger. "I did.. But the only things you asked me for were your clothes and your Innocence. Those are hardly things that one would require if they intended to remain, Lavi." He hummed curiously at the other's indignant sound. "Was I wrong, then? Explain it to me."

The redhead frowned, ignoring their close proximity. "I didn't want to sit around naked, so I asked for my clothes. It was you that decided to give me my hammer and chuck me out the door." Shivering at the ticklish brush of a finger against his neck, he sighed. "I just wanted to _be_ there for a little while, all right? I didn't have anything specific planned, so I thought we might have had an actual conversation."

Fidgeting uncomfortably, he winced. "If you weren't in a talking mood, then.. We could have done something else." Hearing the man's incredulous snort, he scowled. "What? I told you I didn't-" He broke off with a flustered huff, edging backward. "If you're just going to laugh at me, figure it out by yourself. It's not like it makes any difference now."

The brunette straightened instantly, shaking his head. "I think it does. Conversation or 'something else' would have been completely welcome.. At least I would have had the opportunity to see you off in a more fitting manner." Disentangling his finger, he gauged the boy's reaction closely, unwilling to rekindle his former wrath. "I wanted to kiss you, Lavi.. To have one final taste of that sweetness before it escaped me."

The Exorcist swallowed in sudden apprehension, realizing just how close they really were. "Tyki, don't-"

The man's eyes widened fractionally, his palm returning to it's place at the nape of the other's neck. "Don't what, Lavi? I only said.." Blinking in startled comprehension, he jerked his hands away, lowering them to his sides awkwardly. "You thought I meant to- **_Never._** You have _nothing_ to fear from me." Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. " No matter how badly I've wanted it, I would never touch you against your will again."

Lavi bit his lip at the open self-revulsion in the brunette's voice, struggling to form words that would explain his reaction. "It isn't like that, I just.. Don't do it because you think you owe it to me." Reaching hesitantly for the man's shirtfront, he averted his eyes. "Even if I knew that you didn't mean it, I wouldn't trust myself to stop you." The quick grip of a hand at his wrist was unexpected, but he kept his gaze lowered, unable to face the other after such a shameful declaration. "I'm sorry."

Tyki growled at the apology, taking hold of the redhead's chin to lift his face. "Why, Lavi? What reason could you possibly have to allow it at all? Answer me!" The boy's silence was maddening, and he resisted the urge to shake him through sheer effort. "If you don't want me, say it clearly! Or is _this_ my punishment, to have the one thing that I desire above all else kept beyond my reach?"

The Exorcist shook his head in growing panic, unable to escape the man's grip. "No! I wouldn't-" Pressing a hand against the center of the other's chest, he pushed ineffectually. "We- **_I_** can't do it again! Please don't make me hope! _Don't!_ Let me stay the way I am so that I don't break!" His voice wavered and cracked, his struggles fierce enough to alarm the brunette. "I can stand it if you're alive! You know the truth, so I don't have to carry it by my-"

His words cut off abruptly, silenced by the older man's lips against his own. For an impossibly long instant, he continued to fight, his hands lifting to tangle into the brunette's hair to force him away. The only response was a soft grunt of discomfort, the sound vibrating against his mouth as he whimpered brokenly. His fingers tightened convulsively around the man's head, his upper body pressing close enough to share a heartbeat when the other's hand moved from chin to jawline, the touch horribly welcome despite his former protests.

He cringed at the needy sounds he made when the man pulled away, his eyes smarting with guilty tears. "Don't.. I really-"

Tyki shook his head mutely, repeating his insistent kiss. His arm curled possessively around the Exorcist's waist, his palm flush against his spine to keep their positions as he lifted his head only far enough to speak. "No more, Lavi.. All that you gave me is still here, even if no one ever knows it." He stroked the skin beneath the boy's wide eye, marvelling at its mere presence. "Still so very sweet.. But tell me the truth of this. I've had enough of misunderstandings and presumption."

Seeing the redhead's brow crease in thought, he shook his head firmly. "Do not complicate the issue with should, shouldn't, right or wrong. I couldn't care less about any of those things. Will you have me or no, Lavi?"

The Exorcist's mouth worked soundlessly, his fingers still ringed by the man's dark curls. He snatched a breath with effort, swallowing to combat the tightness of his throat. "You already know! You always knew!" He closed his eyes at the flash of crushing pain beneath his breastbone, biting his lip deeply enough to break the skin. "You were the one who said it, damn you! It was never enough for me to want you, I-"

"Wanted me to want you, too."

His low voice halted the other's rant as effectively as a slap, his gaze intensely focused on the boy's pale face. "I remember the same look on your face when I said it then, Lavi. You wanted so badly to share your need that there was no possibility of deception.. And even if I had lied to you before, I could never have hoped to resist you then. From that very instant, we became your possession." He laughed softly, the mocking humor of it directed solely inward. "Fearsome, beautiful little fool.. That you should wield such power and never know it."

There was something of the _other's_ wicked darkness in his eyes, even if the shade remained firmly human, and the familiarity of it left the redhead speechless as he continued.

"Acknowledge it or cast me aside, Lavi. When there were two, the burden was divided and livable, but with only one mortal form to contain it.. It consumes me. To bring me here and present me to you was the most brilliant devilry your _friend_ could ever have conceived. I would almost suspect his own duality for the very idea." He cupped the boy's face with aching care, the pronounced tremor of his fingers alarming. "I was Noah's Pleasure, but it is _your_ pleasure that this human body would serve.. So tell me. Will you have me or no?"

The Exorcist shuddered at the weight of his question, unable to find a clean balance between his longing and the loneliness that had become the very center of his life. He met the other's unfaltering gaze with more than a little fear, painfully aware of the dryness of his mouth. "I don't want that, Tyki.." Loosening his near-frantic grip, he steeled himself against the renewal of his misery. "If that's what it would be, then.. No. Not if that's all there is."

The brunette inhaled sharply at the reason for his refusal, his eyes wide. "All there is..?" He shook his head at the boy's surprised expression, unwilling to consider the possibility that he could have been so wrong. "Lavi, I would give _anything_ to have you for my own, wasn't that exactly what you wanted?" He laughed raggedly, lowering his hands to the redhead's shoulders. "I want you, but it isn't enough unless you want _me!_ Gods, what a wretched mess-"

"That's enough."

He clenched his teeth at the Exorcist's soft interruption, forcing himself to calmness. "What..?"

Lavi worked a hand free carefully, pushing against the back of the man's neck. "If it isn't like the Earl's power over you, then yes. Now come here and give me what's mine."

He ignored the brunette's startled sound, pulling his head down as he lifted his own. The contact of lips was nothing like the ones before, this kiss demanding and hungry in a way that gave unmistakable proof of the Exorcist's acceptance of the other's offer. Reaching backward, he felt for the edge of the desk, reassuring himself of its position before settling against it with a satisfied hum. Leaning back for air, he laughed breathlessly at the man's dazed look. "We're both so stupid.." He muttered, shaking his head. "It's going to take a lot of work to fix everything, isn't it?"

Tyki nodded quickly, shifting his weight to press as close as he could manage. "An immense amount of work.. When do we start?" He covered the boy's amused retort with a brief kiss, pulling back to bury his face against the junction of his jaw and throat. Latching onto the skin there, he ground out a muffled noise of approval at the hard push of a hand against his head, his own hands tracing a path over the Exorcist's chest and stomach.

Reaching his waistband, he hissed in annoyance at the obstruction of his belt, moving to glare at it belligerently. "Damned thing- _Lavi!_ " He gasped at the boy's quick jerk to his hair, forgetting the thin scrap of leather when the Exorcist drove his teeth into the skin of his neck almost painfully. "Gods, you.."

The redhead licked at the stinging bite, nipping upward along the line of his pulse. "Told you.. Not like I was." Pausing to suck hard enough to leave a faint mark, he growled at the man's inarticulate sound. "This time.. Know _exactly_ what I want." Sweeping his free hand across the cool wood of the desktop, he shoved the neatly arranged papers away, ignoring the sound of unseen objects striking the ground. Releasing the brunette's head, he boosted himself up to sit in the cleared space, for once grateful that the desk sat awkwardly high from the floor. "Perfect.. More?"

Tyki nodded eagerly, pushing the boy's knees apart to make room for himself between them. " _Yes._ And I don't really think I mind the difference, Lavi." Sliding his hands upward, he framed the redhead's hips tightly, humming contentedly when his legs wrapped securely around his waist. "Mm.. No, definitely not a problem."

The Exorcist moaned at the obvious hardness against his own, resuming his exploration of the other's skin. "Just.. Tried to find.. _Wanted_ you-" He cried out softly at the slow rocking of the man's hips, his arms shaking as he clutched at his back. "Don't even know _why_.. Couldn't ever forget how you felt.."

The brunette laughed quietly at his stilted speech, hands curling possessively around the curve of his rear to pull him closer. "I don't know why either, Lavi.. And I don't care." Urging his head up, he leaned in for a kiss. "But I remembered, every single night.. There was never anyone like you."

Lavi shook his head blearily, his fingers digging into the other's back. "Please.. Please don't change your mind, there's nothing left.." He bucked forward, clenching his teeth together to stifle a louder cry. "Nothing else I want. Don't even need a heart.. Just need you."

The man slowed his motions, brushing his words over the boy's parted lips. "Oh, Lavi.. You're still saying that?" Gentling his hold, he shook his head at the other's whine of protest. "Of course you have a heart, I could hardly have broken it so badly if it were never there." He raised his hands to stroke the redhead's back and sides, arms closing around him in an unmistakable embrace. "I desire it as much as the rest of you.. How very strange that is, when I hardly know you at all."

The Exorcist moaned shakily, nodding. "Really strange.. But I'll try like hell, if you want me to. Don't even know if I can." He pressed a kiss to the brunette's jaw, inhaling the scent of his skin. "We'll have time to find out, time to learn _everything_ that matters.." His breath caught sharply at the abrupt spike of arousal brought on by the man's renewed movements, his thighs tightening in a desperate bid for more contact. "You make me want so much.."

Tyki nodded, seeking out the curve of the boy's shoulder with his lips. "Likewise, Lavi.. My lack of self control is appalling, all things considered. I should take far more time with you than this.."

Gripping the man's shoulders, Lavi pushed carefully. "God.. Wait, we can't-" He gasped at the deliberate lowering of the brunette's hand, his hips shifting forward despite his words. "Really, we've got to.. _Fuck_ that feels good.. Whoa!" He grabbed the other's wrist tightly, panting for breath. "We've got to get the hell out of here first.. **Then** we can take care of everything else." Clearing his throat, he laughed shakily at the other's obvious disappointment. "I promise, Tyki.. Besides, if you touch that now it'll last like, thirty seconds. Seriously."

The man nodded reluctantly, catching his breath. "Of course. Where did you have in mind, Lavi?" He frowned at the redhead's raised eyebrow, humming curiously. "Something wrong..?"

"Your hand?"

He flushed awkwardly, stepping back. "Ah. My apologies." Coughing briefly, he nodded toward the door. "I still think there should be some show of unwillingness, Lavi. They'll assume the very worst, if given but a shred of evidence." He frowned, gesturing to the redhead's desk. "A bit more of that would look like a reasonable struggle took place, but you should still.."

Lavi nodded, pushing off the edge of the desk. Walking to the back side of it, he rummaged through a drawer, producing a slender letter opener engraved with some phrase in Latin. "Stand back, unless you want to get messy in a not good way." Waiting for the man to move, he shifted one stack of papers to the far side of the desk, turning away from them. Seeing the other's questioning look, he smiled. "Those haven't been filed yet. No need to waste all that work, huh?" With that, he slashed viciously across the palm of his hand, snapping the arm outward to spread the crimson fluid over the remaining papers and a fair section of the wall.

Repeating the motion, he allowed the blood to pool along the floor in a trail from desk to door, smearing the handle and frame with a wince. "Shit, this better work.. Maybe if there's a little-" He walked backward to the side of the man's empty chair, pressing his hand to it before turning it over. "And maybe.." He whipped his hand upward, laughing at the brunette's alarmed sound. "That should do it. Looks like you had yourself a party in here, huh?"

Tyki swallowed audibly, nodding. "Quite.. Shouldn't you see to that? It looks rather.. Uncomfortable." He watched the boy dig through his pockets, relaxing somewhat when he produced a clean if tattered handkerchief. "Let me help you, please?" He wrapped the surprisingly deep cut with exquisite care, sighing when the material immediately began to turn red. "I didn't expect you to cut your hand off, you know."

Lavi laughed quietly, ignoring the sting. "I know, but it wouldn't have worked if there was just a tiny little drop here and there.. It needs to really look like I might be messed up pretty bad." He returned to the desk, taking a piece of paper and a pen from a drawer. Handing them to the other, he smirked. "Write them a smartass note or something, angry people don't do so well organising search parties."

Snorting, Tyki nodded in agreement, scratching out a brief missive. Handing it back for inspection, he hissed when the redhead smudged his bandaged palm over it, partially obscuring the letters. "If you're done, could we go, Lavi..? There are several places that I would much rather be just now."

The Exorcist shrugged, tossing the paper back onto the desktop. Shoving a small packet from the drawer into his pants pocket, he paused to add his neglected cigarette case and keychain to the meager collection. "I'll bet there are.. But yeah, let me take a look outside before we end up walking into someone."

Opening the door, he cautiously scanned the immediate area for signs of habitation, sighing when none became apparent. "I don't know what time it is, but most of the people here head down to dinner at about 7.. We may be in luck." Beckoning the brunette forward, he stepped into the passage, rapidly closing the distance from his door to the end of the hall. "Once we're outside, we need to get around to the east side.. That's where the steps are. Nobody uses those, they use the elevator around front."

Unlocking the heavy outer door, he looked again for unwanted company, nudging the man outside. "Stand right there, I'm going to be sure no one comes through here until we've at least had time to get somewhere." With that, he yanked the key hard to one side, smiling when it snapped off inside the lock. "That should take a while to fix.."

Glancing back at the halls that had served as both refuge and prison, he sighed.

The things he would miss were moments from a time past, when no one had feared his reaction or given an instant's thought to asking for his company. The way things were now, there was really nothing _to_ miss. The man's low hum interrupted his reverie, and he bit his lip, turning to face him.

 **This** was his future, the smile that existed for him alone, the hand outstretched with no care for his insecurities..

And he wanted it.

For once in all his lives, he wanted something for him alone, something to give proof to the heart that he had never truly believed in.

Returning the other's smile, he accepted his hand, intertwining their fingers tightly.

This time, the brunette pulled him through the door.

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Thank you for reading. Maybe there'll be more, I really don't know.


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